Nothing like waiting til the last minute to make a decision…. The Five Points of Life Marathon in Gainesville, FL was February 19th . I decided to register on February 15th. I mean, cause hey, why not?
I wasn’t exactly sure how I’d work it all out but I knew I would. I called my mom to see if I could try to use a Friends & Family pass for a Marriot Hotel… this got my mom to thinking. She could come to Atlanta on Friday (clean my house and pay for professional carpet cleaning), drive to Florida Saturday, run a marathon Sunday morning then drive home Sunday night…. Easy peasy, right?
Seems like we weren’t the only ones going to Gainesville that weekend. We weren’t able to get a hotel room in town so we had to stay in Ocala. This was about 35-40 minutes from Gainesville. We got down pretty early on Saturday afternoon, picked up my race packet and checked into the hotel. I took a short little nap, then we went downtown for dinner. This ended up being a really great dinner. We went to Harry’s a New Orleans style restaurant. Little did we realize that it was Mardi Gras… so, we had a really long wait. No worries, we had no problem filling our time with shopping and cocktails at the bar. While we were waiting we quickly picked up on the buzz in the restaurant…. Two country stars and their posses had just arrived. We were right there with James Otto (Just Got Started Loving You) and Lee Brice (Love Like Crazy and A Woman Like You). Not to mention, the food was delicious! I don’t remember exactly what I had, and I’m disappointed that I didn’t take a picture, but I remember it being hella good!
Early before the sun came up we were on the road to the starting line. I had my typical pre race nerves. I didn’t feel like eating, it was difficult to eat half of my oatmeal. I tried to drink a cup of water but that was a struggle too. It was hot. I mean really hot at the start of the race. The week before, it was in the 20-30 degrees range in Atlanta. Today is was about 72 at 7:00am when the race started. I found a quiet area to do some simple warm ups and get prepared for the race… I was scared. I was nervous. I didn’t know what to expect. I guess I’ve learned to expect the worst.
Before the first mile was complete I was sweating like a beast… this was gonna be a bad thing. The best part about the race was meeting new friends. At the start of the race I saw two girls leading the 4:15 pace group. I quickly introduced myself and started chatting…. Katie and Danielle were great! They had been running together for several years and loved marathons as much, well maybe more, than me! Before I knew it 8 miles were behind us. But I was feeling it… I had been running a little too fast, talking a little too much, and drinking/eating a little too little. I stopped for water and sport beans and never caught up with my new friends. I kept my head up and powered through alone, the best I could. As the miles rolled by we toured downtown Gainesville and the University of Florida campus. The best part was going through Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. The racecourse went through the concourse and there were highlights being played on the TVs complete with game day announcers, band and full audio. Pretty soon we were approaching the 13th mile. I was struggling, hurting, and needing electrolytes. I should have stopped here. I should have listened to my body. But I thought I could make it another 13 and kept pushing on… The half marathoners peeled off to the right and collected their medals. I saw my mom cheering for me and then turned left. The first half of the race was awesome… great sites to see, great fans and spectators, great energy and fun… The second half was as boring as Freshman Chemistry. The only things I remember were a few cops at intersections, volunteers telling me where to turn, and water/aid stations that didn’t have salt. My legs were starting to cramp. I had already lost all my water and electrolytes. There was no catching up now. I started playing with math… if I walk now, how long will it take me to finish? The only problem was, walking hurt like hell….hurt worse than running. But when I started to run, my mind told me to stop. Hurt to walk, hurt to run, hurt to stand still. What could I do? I tried not to cry. This was the worst time to cry… I couldn’t waste the water and I knew I surely couldn’t waste the sodium. I held it together and tried to push through. Around mile 15 I started to alternate run-walk. You look behind you and see 15 miles, and you think, “Hell yeah I did that!” Then you look in front of you and see 11.2 and you thing, “OMG there’s no way I can do that” Usually I can tell that second voice to GFY. But today I couldn’t… that voice was louder and I think it was because that was the little voice of reason and sense. I tried to stretch out the cramps but they were overwhelming and my legs were locking up constantly. PS it’s probably creeping up close to 89-90 by now.
As I approach the water station at mile 18 I see a runner on the sidewalk being tended to by some medical volunteers. As I get closer he stands up and walks to the tent and sits down. I get some water and Gatorade and tell the volunteers that I’m cramping up really bad. I asked for some S caps, salt packets, anything that will help the cramps. They don’t have anything for me. One volunteer stretches my legs and massages the areas that were cramping the worst. Pretty soon, that fallen runner was back on his way to the finish line. I was still lying on the ground stretching and fighting the tears. I still wanted to save everything I had. A minute later, a car drove by honking at us. She yelled “There’s a runner down at the bottom of the hill”. Two volunteers ran down to check him out. Sure enough, it was the same guy who had collapsed/fallen out when I got to the aid station. He hit the pavement twice in about a third of a mile, yet he planned to continue 8 more miles to the finish line. A volunteer looked at me and said, “You know, you’re not always lucky to collapse within site of a medic tent”. That was it for me…. I was done for the day. My body had been telling me it had enough for about an hour, now my common sense and reason knew it was time to call it a day. Was it worth the danger to finish today when I knew I had more races in the next few months? I let it all out now. I cried, admitted defeat, and called my mom to pick me up.
I got in the car, and started to cry more… sob. I was inconsolable. I felt like a loser. I felt like a quitter. I felt worthless. I paid $80 for a race entry, $90 something for a hotel room, my mom paid over $100 for gas… and we were going home with a sweaty, sopping wet t-shirt and wrinkled race number. And also two souvenir blisters from trying new socks but that’s a different story.
I was ready to quit. Ready to give up on running marathons… ready to throw this stupid goal out the window. I hated running. And I hated myself.
I probably cried well beyond the Florida-Georgia state line. As my body started to recover and feel better, my mind and spirit began to hurt more. Maybe if I had just waited 15-20 minutes at the aid station then I could have recovered and kept on my way. I would be slow, but I would have finished another race.
I still don’t know which was more painful, miles 14-18 or driving 6 hours back home a looser and having to face all my friends? My answer changes day to day. My competitive side says to suck it up and finish the race. My sensible side says I made the right decision by not hurting myself and causing long-term damage. Both hurt like a hurt I had never felt before.
I’m hoping there are a few lessons learned here…
1. 1. Plan ahead. Don’t decide to run a marathon with less than a week’s notice.
2. . 2. Proper nutrition is key. More than just water, proper hydration includes electrolytes. By drinking so much water I was flushing my system.
3. 3. Making new friends was my prize that day. I now have two more running buddies in the south east J
4. 4. Listen to my body. I have to accept the decision I made that day. Good or bad. I did what my body was telling me.
5. 5. Come back with vengeance. I’ve got my eyes set on Five Points of Life 2013. I won’t be defeated twice.
Katie, I have had my share of DNFs and they just suck in every way. But, I seriously believe that in the long run, those DNFs have made me a stronger and better runner. I've learned so much from them. You will have great races in your future, I just know it!
ReplyDeleteDNF often means Do Nothing Foolish. It is far EASIER to push through until you pass out then it is to wisely stop running when moving forward would put you at a risk of health. There are always other races. You only have one body.
ReplyDeleteif you had finished, you still would have paid $80 for a race entry, $90 something for a hotel room, and your mom paid over $100 for gas. you just would have had a non-precious medal in possibly a trip to the hospital as well. you might also still not be back to running.
I am prouder that you stopped than I am if you had finished.